Who Am I?
Truth is my name, truth is my identity. I AM.
What does that mean?
Sometimes it means everything.
Sometimes it can explain anything.
Sometimes it requires further inquiry.
Who AM I? What is my IDENTITY?
For years, I was a girl with an eating disorder (or as I liked to call it "struggling with food" or "disordered eating"). I was a girl who worked out all the time and "ate super healthy".
After that, I was a girl following her passion. I would be a Natural Foods chef, an Ayurvedic Health Coach, a Spin Instructor, and then all my problems would be solved.
But who was I? I still didn't know.
Am I a writer, a yogi, a student, a teacher?
Yes. And no.
These are all things that I am passionate about doing, what I feel drawn to do and ways to be of service, yet I cannot define who I am by any title, a job, or my passions. Why?
Because it can all go away, at any moment. Things change. People change. I change, and if I don't know who I am without these "titles", can you say "identity crisis"? Yup, big time.
There are still moments when I wonder, "who am I"? Today, as I rode my bike through NYC and blended in with the cars and pedestrians, was one of those days.
After I parked my bike and sighed with relief for surviving another trip unscathed, I contemplated.
I am no one and I am everyone.
I am strong and special. I am weak and indistinctive.
I am everything and I am nothing.
I am empty and open.
I am a vehicle for experiencing, learning, growing. For compassion.
I am complete stillness. Shuniya.
This is the state we try to reach through Kundalini Yoga. Here, there is no wanting or desiring. No past and no future. No associations or attachments.
Here you heal. Here you flow. Here you prosper and give, effortlessly.
In a state of Shuniya there is no question of who AM I? You just are. Indifferent. For me, this is the most beautiful definition of them all. The only definition.
I encourage you to ask yourself, who are you? Who do you want to be?